Swirling Thoughts In My Head


So many thoughts swirl through my head. I look around every day and I wonder what this is all about. I crave connection with people, and yet connection can be most elusive with the ones closest to us. A stranger’s smile pierces my heart more than a family member’s conversation. I take the blame for my part, but do they? Is there blame to be placed? Life unfolds as it should. It is shaped and twisted by choices we make, and choices we may never even have known were options for us. There is so much worry. I see it on the faces on the street. We worry about what will happen next. We worry about the state of the world. But sometimes we worry even more about the state of our bodies. Do we measure up? Our bodies swell and shrink depending on our age and events in life, but are we not still the same person no matter what we look like? Do we not see each other beyond our shells? I see you. I see your heart, and a heart can be ugly in the prettiest of packages. There needs to be more heart seeing. There needs to be more love. Why is it so hard to love? Insecurities breed the judgement. The hate. We lash out to the ones who rise up our own insecurities, because it is easier to keep the mirror looking outward and not directly in our face. We need more mirror time. We need to take responsibility for why we judge others. Our job is not to judge. Our time is short. Why waste it on breeding negative emotions? We like to hear negative news however. The world is sustained by negative news. We like to gossip. We all like to be “in the know”. Again, it takes the attention off our own self doubt and fears. Be wary of the ones who say they can’t relate to pain or fear. They are the ones who most likely have the most pain and fear. I admire the vulnerability in others. There is nothing more heart connecting to me than for someone to say “me too”. The layers of life get peeled back as we age, and we can only hope we like the core we get down to when our lives are done. I want to see your core. I crave core conversations. Core emotions. After all, that is what truly matters. I don’t always get it right. I often make mistakes when it comes to life. I am not perfect, and neither are you. If only we would allow ourselves to believe that. If only we could all understand none of us have all the answers. Yet, we puff up our chests when we are out in public to show others just how much we have it all together. It’s laughable. Except there is nothing funny about it. It’s sad. Take a deep breath. You are doing okay. So am I. We just need a little more compassion for ourselves and for others. One day at a time.

These are the thoughts that swirl in my head.

Happy Tuesday dear friend. Thanks for listening.

Kalee xo

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