We all know the childhood tale of “Alice in Wonderland”. We all know the scene where she slips into a rabbit hole, only to find herself in a strange, unknown world to her. A world where she doesn’t know how to navigate or maneuver in. A world that makes her feel strange and uncomfortable. A world that makes her yearn for being back in her own “normal” daily life (is there really any such thing as “normal” daily life??!!)……a world where she can be herself again.
But here is the truth for Alice (and for me and for you)….once you fall down one of life’s rabbit holes, there is no such thing as going back to the life we once knew. We are forever changed by our experiences. We are altered in a way that is hard to express sometimes. Sometimes there are no words to translate our feelings that our “rabbit hole” experience has left us feeling.
What I want you to know my friend, is that is okay. You don’t have to find the words. You don’t have to defend your feelings after your fall down the rabbit hole. You don’t have to go back to being your “old self”. That person doesn’t exist anymore. You now have a new layer of life on top of you, so how can you be back to being the person you were before your rabbit hole experience??!! Unfortunately, this will be hard for some people in your life. It makes us all more comfortable to know what to expect. When someone we know and love is affected in such a way, our first reaction is to want to love them right back to where they were before the fall down the rabbit hole. But this is just not reality.
Don’t rush your feelings. Don’t rush your need for a new “normal”. Life’s rabbit holes come to us in an instant, but it may take the rest of your life to absorb the shock and awe of your experience. But I want you to know that you will slowly but surely get more comfortable with your new layer. A layer of life you didn’t want or ever expect, but a layer that becomes part of who you are. This is real life, and real life is ugly and painful sometimes. But it doesn’t have to suffocate us. My rabbit hole didn’t suffocate me permanently and it won’t suffocate YOU!
Now, I am not naive to think that we only have one rabbit hole in our lives. No, I believe a rabbit hole can open up over and over, however, after experiencing a devastating one already, I am hopeful that if and when that time comes again, that I will let the fall take me down, but it won’t keep me down. I will always choose to find my way back “home”, and I hope you will too.
As always from my heart to yours,