What Are You Willing To Give Up?

Let-Go

One question for you today my friend: What are you willing to give up? In life we all have choices, and sometimes we have to give something up in order to attain something else, or reach another level on our life journey. We all desire other things or other experiences than where we currently are, but most of the time those things don’t just happen strictly because we want them to. It takes action. It takes sacrifice. It takes the passion of knowing what you may be leaving behind is just not as important anymore as what you are going after. So, what are YOU willing to give up?

This question has been on my mind the last 24 hours after a conversation I had yesterday with a friend. We spoke about life. About our dreams. And we talked about what we were both willing to give up in order to make those dreams happen. For example, Erik and I love to travel. It is just who we are. But, if we still had the large home we used to have, with the pool, and yard and all the responsibilities that entails, we would not be traveling for a month at a time like we currently do. We were willing to give up the “status” of owning a large home in a nice area, and moving into a town home nearby, strictly because having those things just weren’t important to us anymore. We sold over half of what our blended marriage brought into our home, because those “things” just weren’t important to us anymore. Erik and I want life experiences together. We want to explore other cultures together and with our children. We want to know what gelato from Italy tastes like when scooped in Italy, and not just from the one at Central Market. We want to know what its really like to see a lion in its natural habitat on the Massai Mara Reserve, and not just seeing it behind a glass cage at a zoo. There are so many things in the world we still have on our list, and I know slowly we will mark them off. But we can only have those dreams and act on them because we were willing to give other security items up. This isn’t the life for everyone, and I understand this, but it is the life Erik and I have willfully chosen. But like anyone else, it takes hard work to make those dreams happen.

Maybe travel is not your life ambition, but whatever it is, it takes dedication and sacrifice to make it happen. Stay focused on what you want your life to look like, but make sure you are not trying to still hold on to people, places and things that are keeping you from moving forward in that direction. Is it more comfortable to stay with what you know? Absolutely! But you can’t have it all! You can’t and I can’t. We all have to be willing to give something up. What I can promise you though my friend, is that when you finally let go of what no longer stirs your soul, and you move towards creating a life you desire, there is no better feeling. The freedom that goes along with knowing you are living your authentic self….well…..it is just awesome! There are absolutely no regrets!

So, I will ask you once more: What are you willing to give up?

Make it a fantastic Thursday my friend!

Kalee xo

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Everything changed the day she figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life. – Story People

This sits by my makeup mirror so I can read it every morning. Great reminder to stay focused on what matters. Because there is always enough time for what matters. Make the time.

Are you focusing on what matters most to you my friend? Let go of what doesn’t matter. Our time is not promised here on Earth, so let go of anything that doesn’t nourish your soul. Let go of toxic people, places and things.

Happy Tuesday! xo

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More love. Less hate. More love. Less hate. More love. Less hate.

Can’t write it or say it enough. Thinking of the victims and their families in Orlando today. Tragic.

I will still continue to focus on the beautiful and good things that happen every day. There is still so much good out there. <3

Being Naked With Your Girlfriends Is The Best

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Being naked with your girlfriends is the BEST! What do I mean by “naked”? No, not what you are thinking, (to the best of my knowledge none of us are nudists…Terri? Serena?) 😉 ,but naked meaning we meet one another exactly where we are in life. We show up with no pretenses. We talk about our vulnerabilities and our imperfections. We leave our masks at home. We have a “girls night in” where no make-up is required (obviously from the picture above, NO makeup is required!), and yoga pants are the fanciest item we are wearing.

We are naked in the sense that we show up in the friendship raw and honestly, and we are willing to be held responsible for our investment in the friendship. This means, if it ever starts to get off course, we know how to say “I’m sorry”, and move forward. We know how to call each other out on our shit without making the other one feel judged or not accepted. It is a friendship built on years of shared life experiences, good and bad, and a friendship that sustains my soul in a way only best girlfriends can.

Life is so very short my friend. Be sure you say out loud “I love you” and “I appreciate you” to the ones who mean the most to you. After all, tomorrow may be too late. Go get “naked” with your girlfriends. 

Happy weekend! Be kind to yourself and be kind to others.

Kalee xo

People Notice

Keep Being You

Good morning my friend. I want to write a reminder to you about your passion. About your goals. About your daily grind trying to make a difference, whether in your own life, or in the hopes of making a difference for the greater good of your community. About the exhaustion and disappointment when you feel like you are not making any headway, or that you think no one cares, or notices. Let me tell you…..people notice.

People see your efforts. People see your hard work. People may not always encourage you in ways that are concrete or tangible, but they ARE supporting you. People are watching you put your heart and soul into the things that matter to you. People are in awe of you. People notice.

I was reminded of this myself yesterday when I received a comment on my website from a reader of my blog. She is someone I knew years ago through a mutual friend, but she ended up moving away and we lost touch. Until I realized that she maybe has been there all along. Busy in her own life far away, yet supporting and encouraging me with my writing by reading it, and then finally reaching out to let me know how my words are encouraging her. It was a shock to me, and it put a smile on my face. It always surprises me a bit when I get comments like this, and I always think, “wow, maybe people really are reading my blog. Maybe I am making a difference to someone out there!!”….yes, my friend, I am not one who walks around with my head held high making assumptions that I am making a difference. Something I need to get better at, and most likely something YOU need to get better at as well!

Anyway, my whole point is to remind you to keep moving forward with whatever moves your soul. With what makes a difference to YOU. Because people notice and you ARE making a difference. Keep being YOU.

Happy Wednesday!

Kalee xo

Friendly Love Reminder From Me To You

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Even in the midst of high anxiety and internal chaos, life still happens and is still very good (read today’s blog post below to know what I am referring to).

This is me and my husband Erik enjoying time at a local lake yesterday. This is also a good reminder not to look at someone else’s photo on social media and think their life must be perfect. NO ONES life is perfect my friend.

Just another friendly love reminder from me to you. 🙂 xo

Transference

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Transference: the action of transferring something or the process of being transferred, and/or the redirection to a substitute, usually a therapist, of emotions that were originally felt in childhood. 

Okay, so I want to talk about transference. Again, as a reminder, I am not a therapist, this is strictly something I know I am currently going through, and I wanted to talk about. It took a few days for me to realize that this was actually what I was doing, but then when I read the definition above, I knew it was exactly what I am doing with 2 of my children at the moment.

As I have previously shared, 2014 was a very scary year for me. A year of the darkest moments of my life (so far!), and a year I truly wish to never repeat. The dark moments were wrapped around my oldest child, and I have never felt so helpless in my life. After a lot of hard work on all of our parts, I am so grateful to be able to know that those moments are truly behind us, and my family now faces forward these days as we look to what comes next, and not what has happened in the past. Until the past raises its ugly head without warning or permission…..

For some reason, I have found myself this past week wrapped in emotions and feelings that I went through with my daughter in those dark moments back in 2014, being placed upon my teenage son recently. There is NO REASON for this. He is absolutely not his sister in so many ways, but definitely not in any similar way that represents those dark moments. So why is my heart racing so hard as I even write this to you? Why do I carry around this anxiety about his safety and happiness, when he has done nothing to warrant such concern? But, my friend, if I am completely honest with you, I have acted like a crazy lady with him this past week. I have been in his business like only moms can be, I have asked questions in many different ways just to see if he still gives me the same answer, and as he looks at me like I have totally lost my mind, I think to myself “what the hell am I doing”?

I’ll tell you exactly what I am doing, I am transferring all my feelings from a trauma I experienced back in 2014 with his sister, directly onto him for no legitimate reason. Obviously, I am not as “healed” from what happened as I like to think I am, and those unresolved feelings show up in funny ways, and at unexpected times. My son has done nothing to warrant my anxiety, yet I have made him part of my anxiety strictly by default of him being close in age to what his sister was when the bottom fell out of all of our worlds.

Help!! I share this with you my friend, for many reasons. One, because anytime I write my feelings down they tend to dissipate in intensity. Again, as I always say, anything I ever write to you is really for my benefit in dealing with my own ups and downs in life, and if by sharing what I need to hear helps anyone else out there in this great big world, well then, that is a bonus! **Friendly reminder…we can only help ourselves. We can encourage others, love others, support others, do so much for others, etc…but in the end, it is up to the individual to make changes or get happy. So, take your superwoman cape off, my friend, you can’t carry that burden any longer……**** (we all need this reminder every once in awhile)……anyway…..the second reason I share this with you is because maybe one of you out there has, or is, going through something similar and may have some advice for ME! My goal for this Girl, I Hear Ya community is that it is an interactive community. A place where we can all share life together in a honest and vulnerable way, where we can offer up our imperfections and mistakes in order to let others know they are not alone, and can possibly give thoughts on how we can all get through certain experiences we may be facing.

So, if anyone out there has found themselves transferring feelings from events in your life or experiences with people onto undeserved persons, please share with me your thoughts. AND, if you are just now realizing after reading the above definition that you are also transferring undeserved feelings to undeserved persons, please take a deep breath, take a step back and STOP IT RIGHT NOW! I am doing the same thing. I will no longer put my irrational fears onto my son. It isn’t healthy. It isn’t fair.

Whew, just saying this out loud to you my friend, helps me out so much! Thank you for listening to me.

I hope you make this new week full of successes, relaxation, love and laughter.

Happy Monday.

Kalee xo