So, a little known fact about me: I suck at website design. I was trying to get this fabulous banner up on the website, where I currently have “Girl, I Hear Ya”, and all I ended up with was the eyes of all the girls staring at me from the header and nothing else. Creepy!!! So, until I can find the right person to help me, here you go. My lovely FB and Twitter banner. Thanks to Scott Beckley for the design. I LOVE it! 🙂
Sometimes you have a nice dinner with a girlfriend that you haven’t seen in awhile, and you are so engrossed in the vulnerability and honesty that you are sharing with each other, that you lose track of how many bottles of beautiful red wine that you have shared. Sometimes you have to call your husband to come pick you up on a random Thursday night due to the fact that you had such a night with a girlfriend. I mean…sometimes this happens….. 😉
(it was all worth it Sarah….I love you) 🙂
Good morning my friend! I thought it would be helpful to put together a top 10 list of what genuine support for a girlfriend looks like. Sometimes in the busyness of life we end up taking the girlfriends who support us the most for granted, and this is never okay. We need each other ladies!
Top 10 List Of What Genuine Girlfriend Support Looks Like:
- Always listen. Don’t listen to give advice. Just listen (even if it is the 100th time she is talking about the same issue).
- Be happy for her success in life, whether that be work success, love success, or life success (it doesn’t take away from your own).
- Be able to say you are sorry to her. And mean it.
- Never judge her. You are one of the few people in her life where she knows she can show up just as she is, imperfections and all, and you still adore her (she faces enough judgement from the rest of the world).
- Tell her the truth. Always (even when it is an uncomfortable conversation).
- Know what her favorite wine is, and always have it on hand for emergency or celebratory girlfriend time.
- Never say “I told you so” to her. She already knows.
- Make time for get-away’s with her. She needs it and so do you (no matter how old you both get).
- Tell her out loud how much you love and appreciate her. Whether you have been friends for 2 years or 40 years, it is always nice to hear.
- Know what her favorite wine is, and always have it on hand (no, this is not a mistake…it is THAT important that it needs to be repeated). 😉
Just a friendly love reminder from me to you, my friend.
And to all my girlfriends……well, I couldn’t do life without you. Thank you.
I spent yesterday afternoon refreshing the flowers on my back patio. I don’t really have a “yard” per say, but I do have a beautiful patio filled with all shapes, sizes and colors of pots, and it brings me joy to plant new flowers in them when the time is right. There is just something so calming to me as I play my favorite music, and get dirty (from head to toe because I am not the most tidy when I plant), as I introduce each new flower to their new home. Then, when finished, to sit out on my patio surrounded by such beauty….well, it is one of my life joys. I LOVE sitting out there. I love inviting friends and family to “The Wulfers Cottage on the Green” (this is what my husband and I have named out little townhouse, as it sits on a golf course)……and I especially love enjoying the patio with a lovely glass of red or white! 🙂 It really is the simple things that mean so much, am I right my friend??!!
Back to planting flowers yesterday……as I looked down at my white t-shirt (yes, smart of me, I know…) my jeans and my hands that were all covered in dirt, I thought to myself “if only I could always feel this serene in the midst of digging in or through the dirt”. Of course, life’s “dirt” is usually not surrounded by your favorite music, or dressed up with pretty flowers, but I kept thinking to myself as I continued getting dirtier and dirtier, that it is possible to focus on the new growth that will bloom from the dirt that comes into our lives, rather than letting it bury us. It is possible to let the dirt in life prepare us for a beautiful next phase. The dirt may not wash off our souls and heart as easily as it rinses off our hands and clothing, but it does diminish in color over time, and it does help set the foundation for new blooms in our lives.
When I look back at some of my darkest moments where I not only felt covered in dirt, but pretty much believed I was buried forever in the ground by it, never to see new blooms in my life again….I now realize that even that darkest of dirt I was covered in could not keep the beautiful new growth in myself and the flowers I now have in my life from blooming. In fact, just the opposite! It is BECAUSE of that special shitty dirt, that I have the blooms that I do in my life now. What a realization for me!
Yes, I know we hear it all the time….the darkness brings light, the bad times make the good times look even better, etc., etc….there is a quote for any experience we go through…but for some reason, as I sat covered in dirt yesterday, an overwhelming sense of peace came over me. Yes, I now realize that there is peace in the dirt. I will no longer rush to wash it off of me the next time I get covered in it (because there is always a next time….), but rather, let it soak in and let it groom the flowers that will inevitabley bloom from it.
I hope you will be able to do the same my friend. If today you feel like the dirt is getting piled up on top of you, I encourage you to stop wiping it away. Let it settle as it needs to, and switch your focus from the ugliness of it, to the beautiful blooms that are sure to grow from it. There will always be new growth. We see that every time Springtime circles back around. Nothing in nature, including you and I, are left in the dirt forever. As long as we are still alive, and sometimes that is the only thing positive we can say on a particular day, then future blooms will always happen. Believe me, I know it is hard to see that when the dirt is suffocating you (believe me dear friend I KNOW….), but I hope you can find peace in the dirt as well. I also hope you know I am cheering you on and cannot wait to see your beautiful flowers when they bloom!!
Make it a peaceful Tuesday.
I am struggling my friend. Not in a physical way or in an emotional way, but in a larger than life way of thinking that I just can’t seem to let go of kind of way. It has affected my writing due to the fact that I can’t seem to get the words out properly for what I am thinking at the moment. I start to write a blog, but then I end up just looking at a blank screen for a while, and so I quit. I will never write anything to you that is contrived or not written with earnest thought, or truths, so this is why you have not heard much from me in the past week. What is going on?!! I am so frustrated.
So what is the big question that keeps circling in my head you ask? Well, it may sound strange, and it is a question that has been around since the age of time, but for some reason, I am really taking on the enormity of it all at the moment, and I am not sure why. I keep thinking What is life for? Why are we all really here? What does any experience we may have actually mean? (I told you….BIG QUESTIONS!!)…..and I can’t seem to find any answer that soothes my curiosity.
I know, some of you may be thinking this is a religious crisis for me, or that I must be unhappy with something in my life, or I wouldn’t be so bothered by such a big question (I mean, is there an answer??!!), but I want you to know that that is so far from my truth right now. In fact, I have never been in a more content and happy place in my life. Truly. In my 44 years of life, I feel like I am in a groove of what my life is supposed to be that I have never felt before ever. I have found a love in my husband that cannot be described in words, I have children that are growing and evolving into fantastic individuals apart from me, I have great friends (although, I have had to do an inventory lately of what a “great friend” really means…again….), I have new and interesting doors opening up for me as far as a career goes, so why is it NOW that I am wrestling with the largest question any human can have: WHAT IS IT ALL FOR?
I believe in God, but I am firmly against any organized religion for myself at the moment. I have been down that road before and became very disillusioned by it all many years ago (**disclaimer: I am not judging anyone about your beliefs. If you go to church, absolutely I am happy for you on that!!…okay, are we clear on that?)…. I am open to learning more about other religions and seeking information about different beliefs, but I don’t feel like that is a “missing piece” in my life, so I am not convinced that this is why I am so moved by finding out the answers. Then again, maybe it is?
I live for the moments. I try to be engaged in whatever I am doing at the time with whoever I am doing it with, without looking too far ahead. Sure, I have future goals, but I try not to focus too much on being “happier” when those goals come true, because as we all know, TODAY is all we are promised. I understand that. It took many years and many dark moments for me to grasp that philosophy, but I genuinely understand that today is where my focus needs to be. Are we not here on this planet to connect with others in these present moments? (one of my questions I keep carrying around)…..why do the people we come across in our lives, come into our lives at all? And why is it that when I travel and I look at all those new faces across the globe, that I think, why are we all here in this same place right at this moment together? I actually look at people that I am sitting next to in a cafe somewhere in the world and say to myself, I acknowledge that this person next to me exists. They have a full life that I know nothing about, and if I was not sitting here right now, I would never know that they existed at all, so I want to be sure their soul feels that my soul acknowledges them……I know…..maybe I am crazy. 😉 These are real thoughts I have though my friend, and real things I do!!
I write all this to you because one: I need to get these thoughts out of my head and written down. They seem to calm down after they have been given life on paper (or a computer screen). 🙂 And two: because I promised you that I would share my life with you. I have said over and over that I am not here to give any advice, but to let you know what I may be going through at any given point in time, so that if you are also feeling similar things, that you know you are never alone. Thank you for making me feel like I am never alone as well.
Well, I know these questions are not going to be answered quickly (or ever)….but just being able to say it out loud makes me feel better already. I hope you enjoy a peaceful and relaxing Sunday, my friend.
Thanks so much for listening.
So, went to bed at 8:30pm last night and slept until 6:00am. That was my jet lag’s last fight. I am feeling refreshed and very ready for a great weekend! Heading to see Hall and Oates in concert tonight with my just turned 16 year old son. He is an old soul when it comes to music and they are one of his favorite bands. Taking him to his first concert is part of his birthday present. Being the one to take him to his first concert is a gift for me. 🙂
Have a fabulous weekend my friend!
Be kind. Be yourself.